Waking up is hard to do!

Many of us are familiar with all the buzz around 2012, some calling it a shift, an end time, a new age, a new direction, the coming of the golden age, the age of aquarius, the awakening… It’s tough to get a grip on what it all means and not get lost in all the conspiracies, opinions and lore. The fact that all these opinions exist is actually just another indicator to what is actually happening. For if the question exists, then so does the answer. They are mutually dependent on one another.

More and more people are looking around at what exists in the world and asking what it all means. This is the first sign of waking up. We are a species that has been dreadfully drowned by misinformation and apathy. As we gain awareness to truth, changes occur within us that are difficult to deal with at times.

We are creators. Each one of us possess the responsibility to create our own experience of the universe. When we are un-aware of this, we create in what I call default mode. Whatever we worry about, stress about, put focus on (and our intentions behind it) manifest before us in seemingly random ways that never quite provide us with enough synchronicity to raise our awareness and just enough satisfaction on the surface that it reinforces the default way of being. Unknowingly, we have been asleep our entire lives. Enough! It is time to wake up!

You may hear a lot of people talking about levels of consciousness, raising your level of consciousness or reaching new states (or altered states) of consciousness. Some people associate these terms with pot smoking festival kids and yoga class. It’s much more than that. Think about what it means to be conscious. It means to be AWAKE! As we raise our consciousness, we are actually just increasing our awareness of what is around us and waking up to information that has been hidden because parts of us were still asleep.

Everyone knows the feeling when a foot goes numb from sitting awkwardly. It feels like it’s not there until it tingles and twitches as it wakes up. Well, think about that for parts of you that you didn’t realize were there. If you were born with a numb, invisible foot and then one day it started to wake up, what would you do? You’d be thrilled! Suddenly walking is made so much easier! As parts of you begin to wake up, it’ll be awkward and tingly and a little strange. Once you move past the discomfort, BAM- living- so much easier!

One of the biggest factors in how comfortable the awakening process will be is how much compassion you have for others. If you are self-serving and self-centered, you are playing on the opposite side of the team. Self-service does not sustain life and whatever does not sustain life, the universe eventually destroys.

If you are compassionate towards others and focus less on what you want and desire for yourself and put more focus into helping others or sharing with others, you will see a change. The universe provides the playing field for whatever we create. There is a collective consciousness that we are all connected to but to most it is still far from their current level of consciousness. Time is speeding up and more and more people are showing subtle signs of waking up. Take a moment and think about where your focus has been and where has the focus been for others around you?

It may seem like big companies are getting whatever they want and those that care for the masses are left with nothing, but that’s a perception still within the old framework. We have been taught that money, jobs, big families, cars, clothes… all these THINGS are to be valued and that status and knowledge can be attained with the right upbringing and combination of these things. It’s all backwards. Knowledge is completely free and universal. The collective consciousness provides information about anything you want or need to know- anything. What we’ve lost by focusing on these things is community and abundance- limitless abundance. It exists in the world today, right now, but it’s in the wrong hands because our cookie jar was raided while we were sleeping.

The alarm is going off- it’s time to stop hitting the snooze button and start waking up!

Here’s what you can do to be more active in your process: 

  • Find a guide or energy healer. 

Letting go of old habits, behaviors and patterns can be uncomfortable and challenging. However, the short period of discomfort is relieved by endless joy, abundance, love and knowledge. It is worth it. Finding guidance from a healer is well worth it. 

Check out www.singingbutterfly.com if you’re in the Western Washington area.

Other states, check out www.americanassociationofhealers.com or http://www.holisticnetworker.com/. There are plenty of other sites for finding a healer in your area, but these should help get you started.

  • Meditate with intention

What is it that you want to create in the world? Get a group together to find like ideas and meditate with intention for even just a few minutes once or twice a week. Meditate on your own each morning or evening and visualize future places, events, ways of being. 

  • Give gifts and grattitude

Give without expecting anything in return. Start a grattitude journal and make a list of all the things your are grateful for each day or each week. Pause when in nature to thank the Earth for providing this moment. Thank the bees or butterflies for their polinating dance as they fly by you. Thank the sun for warming your face. 

  • Breath work!

Check out my previous blog for some breath exercise suggestions- Just Breathe.

  • Play

Life is fun. Find opportunities to tap into that inner child. Laughter is one of the best ways to raise our frequencies and when we do it in groups, it has immense power.

  • Talk to those around you

I often find that once people start thinking differently about their lives, they often think that those around them will judge them. Don’t worry. Once you move towards full consciousness, others around you will either follow your lead or slowly pull away. Relationships that are not meant to be or are not serving a greater purpose may change. Allow these fluctuations to occur. Also allow new relationships to blossom. You will find that the universe will place just the right people in your path at just the right time.

I’m more excited now for the future than I have ever been. I receive my information from guides that I have gotten to know over the years as well as books and classes. I find that the closer I get to full consciousness, others around me go through changes as well. I know it can be difficult and unsettling- it’s hard to see the world you once knew become something so different. The more we reach out and share this information, the easier it will become for all of us.

I wish you all a safe healing journey.

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Forgive and Forget Being Right

We are transcending our need to be right. As we continue our evolution, the need to be right seems about as necessary as the need for a giant billboard advertisement in the middle of the jungle. It’s not that necessary. Being right, although it may feel like a thai massage on the ego, reinforces duality. You are claiming your separateness with pride and rigidity. You are stating YOU are WRONG and I am RIGHT. Me= this, You= that and we are different. My separateness is better and yours, is of lesser quality and the universe desires you less because of it. So there. Stick tongue out, thumbs in ears and big wavy jazzy-moose hands out… neener neener. That’s what being right feels like.

But I KNOW I was right. Yeah, sure you do. You know that your intentions were right or that you really did study that thing in college and totally know what you’re talking about, but what’s being focused on is the ego. It is self-serving.

Moving forward beyond the need to be right is part of our ascension. Moments of friction or disharmony are obstacles we create to teach us this lesson.

The need to be right is grounded is force, not true power. Force is always met with opposition and duality. It removes us from source and is not supportive of life. As our vibrational frequency rises and we transcend the need to be right, power is restored and more universal life energy returns to us. We no longer need to be right, we accept what is for what is and our need to self-serve is replaced with our natural tendency to serve others.

You do not need to agree with whatever is given to you, but you can be accepting and choose to only offer love. When we act on the need to be right, we place limitations on love and in turn limitations on ourselves. You will find when you relieve yourself of the burden to be right, you will discover more freedom. The more you practice this, the lighter you will become. The lighter we become, the further along our evolutionary path we wander and inevitably influence and reinforce this action in others.

Try it out. I learned a powerful lesson in acceptance and forgiveness this weekend. After reflecting on the incident I realized that even though I firmly felt I was right… I was placing limitations on myself by agreeing with my ego that I NEEDED to be right. It really didn’t matter. What mattered was the relationship and the person I was in conflict with. I realized this incident occurred because I had not ingrained this lesson into my subconscious. It takes time. The more we make conscious choices to act for the greatest good instead of personal fulfillment, the patterns in our energy field are reinforced so that this becomes our “default” behavior.

Time is speeding up. Our karmic cycles are moving faster and faster and whatever we are sending out is returning to us in rapid pace. When you find yourself in conflict or disharmony, think back a few days. You may be thinking you don’t deserve what is happening, but ask yourself if there was a time in which you acted in self-service or without integrity. Perhaps there is a lesson in the conflict. We are creators of our own reality and all that we experience outside of ourselves in in direct relation to our intentions and feelings within. Forgiving another person or situation will begin the path of forgiving ourselves, embracing qualities within ourselves that we have rejected and bringing us closer to source.

I hope the next time you find yourself in a situation where the need to be right is tugging on your braids and you recall this post. Take a pause and choose love instead. Value the relationship over the argument and let it go.

My mother lives in the ocean

I was 12 when my mom died of cancer. She was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer when I was 5 years old. She was 23, newly re-married and expecting what would have been my first little brother or sister. I remember her visiting me at my grandparents’ house where I lived most of the time with my dad, sitting me down on the bed and saying, “Mommy has cancer. Do you know what cancer is?”

I nodded and said, “But Mommy, people die when they get cancer.”

That’s all I remember.

My life became a series of unfortunate events. Now, I want to add to this by saying that this story is not meant to be a sad one. I believe my mother’s death was what I chose for my life when I entered into this physical plane. Her story is what has inspired me to help others and I hope in sharing this, it brings others some hope or inspiration as well.

My mother’s cancer spread quickly. She had to have an abortion, a hysterectomy, and a mastectomy all in one week. Now remember, she was 23.

I watched my once vibrant, healthy mother deteriorate. I have almost no memories of her healthy. Her original prognosis was 6 months and lived an additional 6 years. From this point on I was taken out of school almost on a monthly basis and rushed to whichever hospital she was at being prepared for her death. My childhood was spent waiting and being prepared for death at any moment. I became very familiar with Swedish hospital and spent many afternoons there finishing my schoolwork while my mother rest in her bed. Sometimes she could play and communicate, sometimes not so much.

I remember one day she asked me for a hug. As I bent towards the bed and tried to hug her frail frame, she burst out crying. “Why won’t you hug me?” She cried. I was afraid of breaking her.

My mother was a fierce fighter.

When she died, we scattered her ashes in the ocean at Cannon Beach, OR. It was ten years before I made it back for a visit. I took a road trip with a girlfriend and made a basket full of origami cranes to place in the water. We used to make origami together during the days when she was well enough to be home. When we scattered her ashes, we placed a crane in the water from each one of the attendees of her party. (My mom had a end of life party complete with a jukebox that played only KC and the Sunshine band and a ton of wine drinking dancing ladies).

Setting foot on the beach again was weird. I thought I would feel more than I did, but instead it felt just like any other time on the beach. No intense emotional rush, just a cloudy day in Oregon.

I walked for a bit and then decided I would just walk to the water and throw in my cranes. (I did make these all out of recycled bio-degradable paper). I walked out a few feet, about calf deep in water, turned around a bit, took a deep breath and said, “Hi mom.”

I saw my girlfriend across the beach running and waving her arms at me wildly. I couldn’t hear her, but as I took another look around me I realized that I was about to be swallowed up by a huge rogue wave! It came crashing down over my head and as I ran for shore, I tossed up my cranes and a few flowers I had picked and I realized tears were rolling down my cheeks and I was laughing. I started to jump and spin around laughing and crying, my entire body drenched with water.

That was the biggest hug I have ever gotten in my life!

My girlfriend and I spent the next few hours drinking wine, frolicking in the water and telling funny stories. It was beautiful.

I visited the Virgin Islands about two years ago and I realized that my mom is in every body of water. All the oceans are connected and as we stepped out on Cinnamon Beach at St. Johns, I was excited to frolic in the water and play with my mom. I splashed about and laughed and had a great time.

A girl about my age that was in our group saw me talking and laughing out in the water by myself. She turned to my partner and said, “well she’s certainly having a grand time out there all by herself.” That’s when he shared my story with her.

As it turned out, her mother had just passed. Her mother’s wish was to be cremated and scattered in the ocean. Her daughter was holding up the wish because she was saddened by the idea that there would be no grave or place for her to visit to see her once her ashes were spread. My story changed her mind and after her visit to the island was over, she was going to go back to her family and let them know they could proceed. A beautiful moment in synchronicity.

Today, because I can’t just hop out and visit the ocean anytime, I’m writing this to say hello again and remember.